For the leader. A psalm of David.
I
In you, Lord, I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness deliver me;
incline your ear to me;
make haste to rescue me!
Be my rock of refuge,
a stronghold to save me.
For you are my rock and my fortress;
for your name’s sake lead me and guide me.
Free me from the net they have set for me,
for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, Lord, God of truth.
You hate those who serve worthless idols,
but I trust in the Lord.
I will rejoice and be glad in your mercy,
once you have seen my misery,
[and] gotten to know the distress of my soul.
You will not abandon me into enemy hands,
but will set my feet in a free and open space.
II
Be gracious to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
affliction is wearing down my eyes,
my throat and my insides.
My life is worn out by sorrow,
and my years by sighing.
My strength fails in my affliction;
my bones are wearing down.
To all my foes I am a thing of scorn,
and especially to my neighbors
a horror to my friends.
When they see me in public,
they quickly shy away.
I am forgotten, out of mind like the dead;
I am like a worn-out tool.
I hear the whispers of the crowd;
terrors are all around me.
They conspire together against me;
they plot to take my life.
But I trust in you, Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
My destiny is in your hands;
rescue me from my enemies,
from the hands of my pursuers.
Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your mercy.
Do not let me be put to shame,
for I have called to you, Lord.
Put the wicked to shame;
reduce them to silence in Sheol.
Strike dumb their lying lips,
which speak arrogantly against the righteous
in contempt and scorn.
III
How great is your goodness, Lord,
stored up for those who fear you.
You display it for those who trust you,
in the sight of the children of Adam.
You hide them in the shelter of your presence,
safe from scheming enemies.
You conceal them in your tent,
away from the strife of tongues.
Blessed be the Lord,
marvelously he showed to me
his mercy in a fortified city.
Though I had said in my alarm,
“I am cut off from your eyes.”
Yet you heard my voice, my cry for mercy,
when I pleaded with you for help.
Love the Lord, all you who are faithful to him.
The Lord protects the loyal,
but repays the arrogant in full.
Be strong and take heart,
all who hope in the Lord.
Psalms 31:1-25
I am somewhat intrigued by the opening thought of this psalm. In the midst of describing the Lord as a source of refuge, the request is “let me never be put to shame.” I suppose that is a fear we all struggle to accept. Sometimes we feel ashamed, and it’s not a fun way to feel.
When I think about shame, I see it as a kind of guilt mixed with embarrassment. In some cases, I might feel guilty for something I have done, but no one else really knows about it. So I wrestle with that internally. Shame, it seems, magnifies the strain of the guilt because, for some reason, what I have done is known by others.
However, there is another dimension to this prayer, as well. The wording implies the possibility of completely external sources of shame. Notice there is almost a third person implication when I lament that I might “be put to shame.” This almost sounds more like an attack on my reputation. Does it imply those situations when others believe something for which I am actually not guilty?
While I can relate to the desire for God to protect us in each case, these two views of shame evoke very different responses in me, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Maybe it’s a good idea to explore the similarities and differences of these two problems.
On one hand, we all worry about they way others see us. That’s okay when it motivates us to treat people with kindness and respect, but it causes problems when we let ourselves be manipulated by it. There will always be people in this world who judge me, fairly or unfairly. The question is, really, how much impact will I allow those judgments to have on me?
Unfortunately, to this point, my answer to that question is: way too much! Intellectually, I know that the opinion of someone else does not really matter. Emotionally, I allow myself to be entirely too vulnerable to the way others seem to feel about me.
The key in this case is to focus on the spiritual aspect of the situation. We need to remind ourselves that all the opinions of other people mean very little. What matters is how God sees us. How wonderful would it be to slip away from situations when we feel attacked or shamed by people around us and find a quiet place for prayer. It doesn’t have to be a long prayer, just enough time to check in with God and take comfort in his refuge.
But then there is the other situation, when people are actually noticing something I have said or done for which I do feel guilty. This is a much more difficult problem. Intellectually, I can’t really argue my way out of this kind of shame. Emotionally, the toll can be heavier because I have every reason to blame myself. But that doesn’t make it okay for others to talk about me or judge me.
It is not surprising, but the spiritual approach is also key in this case. The only way to let go of this shame is to find the humility to take it to God and beg forgiveness. Of course, if my guilt is related to an incident when I treated someone else badly, I might hear God sending me to apologize, but even so, it is only God whose opinion of me really matters.
The good news is that God promises forgiveness. We know that there is no sin for which we cannot be forgiven. But do we also remember how Jesus explained it to us? “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
Uh oh, there’s one more thing we have to remember. Of course God wants us to come to him with all our laments, and it is good that we turn to God as our refuge and a stronghold. Quite often, he sends other people into our lives to deliver his comfort and strength. But sometimes we are the ones being called to deliver such comfort and strength to others.
So after we join the psalmist in a prayer to “let me never be put to shame,” we need to continue through the psalm. A few lines later we find a prayer that we will see again in the Gospel of Luke. Just as Jesus was about to breath his last, he prayed, “into your hands I commend my spirit.” (Luke 23:46, Psalms 31:6) This must have been a beloved psalm to Jesus, and we can take a lot from it, too.
So let’s pray for the peace of forgiveness from God, for the humility to recognize when we need that forgiveness, for the strength to remember that a positive relationship with God is all that matters, and for the fortitude to carry out God’s mission of forgiveness and love to others. “The Lord protects the loyal, …Be strong and take heart, all who hope in the Lord.”