Change My Heart!

If you have not done so already, I want to invite you to begin listening to the Bible in a Year podcast with Fr. Mike Schmitz. I was so excited last month when I heard about it, so I rearranged my routine to make it a priority. It is now the source I use for my morning reflection and prayer journal. What a great way to start my day!

Seriously, he is taking us through the entire Bible in a year, with a 20-25 minute podcast each day. Instead of explaining the way it’s organized (you should check it out here – it’s so cool!) I want to focus on the breakthrough that I felt today.

As I said, I start the day by listening to the podcast and then writing in my prayer journal. Let me just share the last part of today’s journal entry:

I still have a hard time with all the bad behavior of God’s people in the OT. I appreciate the explanation we got a few times from Fr. Mike in these first weeks of our Bible study, that we can see how God is willing and able to use us for His work no matter how broken we are. That is a wonderful lesson. Still, I feel so disappointed that the fathers of faith did such awful things.

“…I’m hearing, in my heart right now, that maybe I am struggling with this in my understanding of the Bible so I can learn to apply it in the present day. Maybe I am too easily judgmental of people’s sins and mistakes. Even if I don’t recognize that I am judging, I allow myself to feel disappointed.

In fact, that’s a big part of my world view right now. I am just so disappointed in the direction of our culture. I think about it and talk or write about it all the time. The prevailing trends in society seem to be darker all the time – so much division and hatred; a warped sense of morality based on secularism; and persecution of Christianity is becoming too common.

It’s true, I am so disappointed by these trends, and it causes me to feel so sad, and even hopeless, at times. But this lesson that Fr. Mike is offering in our Bible study can apply to my present day, as well. If I can learn to look at the story of God’s people without feeling so disappointed in them, maybe I can learn to stop being so disappointed in people today.

If I can get to a real appreciation of the fact that God was able to use even these broken and imperfect people in the OT to lay the ground work necessary to prepare us for the New Covenant in Jesus Christ, maybe I can begin to have faith that God can and will continue to use the broken and imperfect people on earth today to continue His mission for our salvation.

Right now, I think this revelation is still in my head more than my heart, but that’s okay. If I continue to pray and reflect on this lesson, God will eventually move it to my heart, as well.

While I know I’m not there yet, I have a vision and a hope that I might get to a world view that doesn’t make me feel disappointment or sadness at the actions of others. I won’t find myself feeling sad and anxious about the evil in the world. Instead, I will always feel joyful because I will be able to look at everyone and know that God can use them, no matter how broken.

Maybe that is how we learn to love our neighbors the way Jesus told us. We need to look past the brokenness in the world and focus on the potential!”

If you haven’t found the Bible in a Year podcast, please look for it. Even if you didn’t start on January 1st, you can just start listening any day that you want. It isn’t tied to the dates on the calendar. Trust me, you’ll love it! Here’s a link to the introduction episode.