Like most of us, Therese suffered through periods of time when she felt abandoned by God. Of course, we might not know that about her if not for her journals because she was committed to showing love in the everyday simple moments of life. Even when she was suffering great amounts of pain from illness, there were people around her who couldn’t see her suffering.
After being an emotional child, prone to outbursts at the slightest conflict, Therese received Jesus in her heart and became dedicated to a more positive outlook on life. Yet, we find out that she had dark periods when she even questioned her own faith. She had moments of doubt, worrying that maybe after death there would be nothing.
But a strong foundation of love for God carried her through those moments. The Franciscan Media site begins a reflection on St. Therese with this thought. “Thérèse has much to teach our age of the image, the appearance, the “self.” We have become a dangerously self-conscious people, painfully aware of the need to be fulfilled, yet knowing we are not. Thérèse, like so many saints, sought to serve others, to do something outside herself, to forget herself in quiet acts of love. She is one of the great examples of the gospel paradox that we gain our life by losing it, and that the seed that falls to the ground must die in order to live” (found here, para 5)
So how can we use her example to get us through those moments when we feel abandoned by God. Have you had prayers that seem to go unanswered? Have you ever been angry with God? Maybe you have been angry with God, but unwilling to admit it. After all, how can we be angry with God?
Well here’s the thing. I think it’s just part of being human to have feelings of anger in the face of suffering. I also believe that God knows it, and He can take it. With the love and mercy that God has for us, he can forgive our weakness. What’s more, I think He wants us to come to Him with all our feelings, good and bad. He wants to be our Father, in every way.
This is a great example of a time that a prayer journal can be so powerful. When we are feeling abandoned or disappointed, it’s always a good idea to talk it out. Putting pen to paper can give us that emotional release. Take your feelings to the Lord and give Him the opportunity to speak to you about it. It is just like we do when we are upset with anyone we love. A healthy relationship requires that we talk about it and work through those feelings. If we truly love God, doesn’t He deserve the same opportunity in our lives?
So let’s remember the example of St. Therese. She experienced periods of emotional darkness when it seemed that God had abandoned her. But she had a great love for Him, and she continued to pray.
Lord God, we want to draw near to You, even in the darkest moments of our lives. We know that you never really abandon us, but our human weakness sometimes causes us to react emotionally. Thank You for Your patience and mercy in our darkest times. Help us to find the strength to pass through the darkness and return to the joy of Your love. Guide us to live in the lasting joy that You want for all of us.