Perhaps St. Teresa Benedicta‘s most important contribution to the world has to do with empathy theory. It is a theory of human interaction that cuts across secular and religious philosophies and might just provide the greatest hope for healing divisions.
Dr. Marianne Sawicki is another biographer of Edith Stein. Dr. Sawicki observed, “There are answers in empathy theory about the basis of human communication that were put on the shelf, tragically, in the 1930’s… The questions today are, how can people of different cultures, different classes, different genders, ever find some point of agreement that we can go forward on to build a just society?” (cited here, para 48)
Well it seems like Dr. Sawicki, and by extension, Edith Stein, have really defined the problem that divides us today. At the same time, empathy theory seems like the foundation we need to solve this complex problem.
At its heart, empathy is really just about seeing things from someone else’s perspective. With that approach, how can we help but to treat each other with understanding. It seems like the social trend is to assume that anyone who disagrees with me is either dumb or evil. I wish there were kinder ways to describe these assumptions, but the assumptions themselves are not kind.
Then to make things worse, we know that others are assuming these things about us, so we get extra defensive. It is a vicious cycle that promises to break down any chance of effective communication or problem solving. I would argue that empathy is the one skill that might be able to break this cycle.
Since the early 20th century, when Edith was studying empathy theory, there has been a great deal of work done in the field. I actually enjoyed a weekend training/retreat with my husband where we learned about a program called, Mastering the Mysteries of Sacramental Love (more information is available here), which is based on empathy theory in relationships. The Archdiocese of Cincinnati was going to implement this marriage enrichment program in several parishes, and we were fortunate to be involved in the initial training.
Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the program didn’t get off the ground in our archdiocese beyond that weekend, and we were really disappointed by that. It was the most valuable approach to marriage enrichment I could ever imagine. I am still hoping to bring it back someday.
So that is my prayer today. Dear Saint Teresa Benedicta, please intercede for us that we might learn to practice empathy in our relationships.
Dear Lord, we pray that we will find ways to spread a trend toward empathy throughout our world. While it is easier to feel empathy toward people who are suffering, and especially toward those who are nice to us, help us to also learn to practice empathy with people who seem angry or distressed or even just plain mean. Teach us to use empathy to show Your love and maybe even turn their hearts.