Of David.
I
Oppose, O Lord, those who oppose me;
war upon those who make war upon me.
Take up the shield and buckler;
rise up in my defense.
Brandish lance and battle-ax
against my pursuers.
Say to my soul,
“I am your salvation.”
Let those who seek my life
be put to shame and disgrace.
Let those who plot evil against me
be turned back and confounded.
Make them like chaff before the wind,
with the angel of the Lord driving them on.
Make their way slippery and dark,
with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.
II
Without cause they set their snare for me;
without cause they dug a pit for me.
Let ruin overtake them unawares;
let the snare they have set catch them;
let them fall into the pit they have dug.
Then I will rejoice in the Lord,
exult in God’s salvation.
My very bones shall say,
“O Lord, who is like you,
Who rescue the afflicted from the powerful,
the afflicted and needy from the despoiler?”
III
Malicious witnesses rise up,
accuse me of things I do not know.
They repay me evil for good;
my soul is desolate.
Yet I, when they were ill, put on sackcloth,
afflicted myself with fasting,
sobbed my prayers upon my bosom.
I went about in grief as for my brother,
bent in mourning as for my mother.
Yet when I stumbled they gathered with glee,
gathered against me and I did not know it.
They slandered me without ceasing;
without respect they mocked me,
gnashed their teeth against me.
IV
O Lord, how long will you look on?
Restore my soul from the destruction,
my very life from lions!
Then I will thank you in the great assembly;
I will praise you before the mighty throng.
Do not let lying foes rejoice over me,
my undeserved enemies wink knowingly.
They speak no words of peace,
but against the quiet in the land
they fashion deceitful speech.
They open wide their mouths against me,
They say, “Aha! Good!
Our eyes have seen it!”
You see this, Lord; do not be silent;
Lord, do not withdraw from me.
Awake, be vigilant in my defense,
in my cause, my God and my Lord.
Defend me because you are just, Lord;
my God, do not let them rejoice over me.
Do not let them say in their hearts,
“Aha! Our soul!”
Do not let them say,
“We have devoured that one!”
Put to shame and confound all who relish my misfortune.
Clothe with shame and disgrace
those who lord it over me.
But let those who favor my just cause
shout for joy and be glad.
May they ever say, “Exalted be the Lord
who delights in the peace of his loyal servant.”
Then my tongue shall recount your justice,
declare your praise, all the day long.
Psalms 35:1-28
This sounds like the prayer of someone who has been hurt by people who he considered friends. It is always difficult to be treated badly by others, but there is an additional level of pain when it is someone you would never expect to treat you that way.
Unfortunately, I’m sure this is a familiar feeling for most of us. Of course friendships come and go throughout our lives for many various reasons. Sometimes geography comes between us, although that is a little easier to overcome in this day of social media. Other times, the separate lives that we lead get so busy that we just don’t have time to spend together. There can be lots of reasons that two people gradually grow apart.
But the hardest way to lose a friend is in anger. It is unrealistic to expect that any two people could spend great deals of time over many years together without ever disagreeing. That just isn’t humanly possible. What makes the difference is the way that such disagreements are handled.
In a marriage, the ultimate friendship, the couple has to make a commitment to face such disagreements and do whatever it takes to overcome them. They have to acknowledge, in advance, that such times won’t be easy, but they will remain dedicated to finding resolution.
But all other friendships exist without such a formal declaration of commitment. In that context, it is harder to have faith that the other person really wants to fix a problem between you. It is easy to doubt whether the friendship was ever really true. We begin to question everything, and with that frame of mind, we tend to lash out.
This is where a simple disagreement can escalate. There is a whole extra level of hurt when we feel betrayed, so we respond in anger. The next thing you know, we find ourselves wishing things like, “Let ruin overtake them unawares; let the snare they have set catch them; let them fall into the pit they have dug.”
Have you ever looked back at a former friendship like the psalmist does here? “Yet I, when they were ill, put on sackcloth, afflicted myself with fasting, sobbed my prayers upon my bosom. I went about in grief as for my brother, bent in mourning as for my mother.” This has a somewhat familiar ring, doesn’t it? “After everything I did for him, I can’t believe…” “How could she treat me this way after I…”
I have mentioned it before, and I firmly believe that God wants us to come to Him with all our thoughts and feelings, good and bad. God wants us to talk to Him about anything that is troubling us. At the same time, it seems a little strange to actually pray for bad things to happen to someone else. I’m trying to recall if I ever consciously prayed like that.
Sure, although I’m not proud to admit it, I have felt like that about people. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s an unusual human response. But would I knowingly ask God to hurt someone else, as this psalm seems to do? It just seems counter intuitive to even believe that God would be willing to carry out my anger on someone.
In fact, it seems that time spent in prayer, instead of convincing God to do my dirty work, is more likely to soften my heart. If I put myself in the frame of mind to contemplate God in my life, don’t I also have to realize that everyone else has the same benefit? When I truly open my heart to God, don’t I have to realize that this person who has hurt me might also be hurting?
I’m not saying that feelings of betrayal are unjustified, but in prayer, maybe we can learn to overcome our pain. Maybe that friendship isn’t what we once thought it was, or maybe we find complete healing and come out on the other side closer than ever. Either way, anger in my heart really hurts me more than it hurts the other person.
It seems the psalmist didn’t get all the way to such healing since the final verse is still holding praise to God contingent on a sense of justice, and maybe there is something cathartic about praying for justice. But I hope we can learn to turn to God for healing, more than retribution.